Is Your Baggage A Bridge or a Burden?

We all have baggage. Some of us carry it for so long; it becomes a heavy burden that we have trouble standing up under the weight.

Emotional baggage is all about fear- the fear of repeating past mistakes; fear of hurt being inflicted upon you and the fear of being blindsided again by whatever “mess” you lived through previously. While fear is a very real and human emotion, it can be totally debilitating, taking a healthy person full of potential and stopping you in your tracks under the weight of your memories. Once we reach a certain age, we’ve all had experiences. That’s what can become your “baggage.” It’s the unhealed wounds and “stuff” that need to be worked through and this can be a result of a romantic relationship, platonic relationship or perhaps a relationship with our parents. Whatever the case might be, working through and letting go of these old wounds and disappointments is crucial to going forward and experiencing a life full of promise and potential.

Emotional baggage implies that you are carrying around left-over burdens from your past, doomed to allow the past to determine your future. Unless you revisit, rethink and repackage that baggage, it often becomes the burden that prevents you from changing from what you have been to what you can become. Oftentimes, we want our situation to change without realizing that we are the catalyst to change our situation. There are parts of our past that we treasure and parts that we wish had never happened. Many of us cling to the past because, despite its’ failures, it has become familiar. How many of us have an old robe or pair of slippers that have outlived their usefulness, but have a certain comfort level because you are used to it. That’s how some of us deal with our past hurts. We have become comfortable in that pattern of thinking until it is now a way of life for us. Learning how to separate the bad from the good and the necessary from the chosen is a learned process. How do you do that?

1. Identify what your issues are – You can’t deal with something if you don’t know what it is. Look at your past relationships. Although this might be a painful experience, it is vital. What has happened that left you hurt, wounded and with scars? What role did you play and what patterns seem to reoccur? Once you know how past relationships are affecting you, you can begin to see what issues you are bringing to your present.
2. Identify what your triggers are – Past emotional baggage is full of “triggers.” A trigger is something that reminds you of your past and brings up old feelings, memories and reactions. Triggers can be good or bad; triggers that become the weight of baggage are not pleasant memories! What pushes your button? Once you identify your “buttons” you can begin to control the emotional baggage associated with them.
3. Identify what your reactions are – Past baggage often results in an emotional reaction which typically is an over-reaction to a current situation. How do you react when you feel distrustful, suspicious controlled or mistreated? When you recognize how you react to things that trigger your past baggage, you can begin to change those reactions.
4. Identify your reality – Even when you know you are reacting to the past, these feelings can become so intense it’s hard to ignore them or to react any differently. Force yourself to identify your current reality. Use your mind and control your thoughts to counter these negative feelings. Once you have done this, you can choose how you want to act.

When you stop carrying old baggage from your past and begin to use that baggage as a bridge to a brighter future, it can be very liberating. Your past can never be discarded. It is a part of who you have become. Insight is the gift you get from learning your lessons and taking another path. The time you spend letting go of the past will make you grateful that you took the time to clear your mind, heart and soul to live the life you love. Remember: your past does not disappear. It can be a debilitating weight that holds you down or an uplifting bridge that takes you to new heights. The decision is yours.