We all have individuals in our lives that should have a front row seat, then there are those that don’t even deserve admission. You know, those relationships that just seem to suck the life out of us. Toxic people can be exhausting and can have quite a negative impact on your growth and development, spiritually, mentally and physically!
I’m sure you know a few people like this, people you work with, people you might call your friend, or maybe even someone that you live with. It seems that these types of people are drawn to reasonable folk and can drench us with their venom. Oftentimes, it’s difficult to spot them because their damage lies in their subtlety and their ability to make us feel as if we’ve “over-reacted” or are “too sensitive.” If you are constantly being hurt and adjusting your behavior to avoid being hurt, chances are this is not someone that should have a front row seat in your life!
In order to remove these people from your audience, you first have to recognize them for what they are: TOXIC! Do you know someone like this!
- Judgmental – You can explain something over and over again but it doesn’t make a difference. They have come to their own conclusion before even hearing the facts. Asking advice from this person is frustrating and a complete waste of your time. It is important to surround yourself with people who will listen and not judge but give sound advice.
- Envious – They will put on a front of comforting in your down times, but will put on that same front to help you celebrate your victories. They secretly resent you because it happened to you and not them. It’s important to surround yourself with genuine people who will be with you during the good times and the bad.
- Controlling – They never, ever listen because, according to them, they know the best way to handle any situation. It’s their way or the highway. As long as you’re doing things their way, everything is fine. It’s only when your opinion differs from theirs that there is discord. It’s important to surround yourself with people who value you and your opinion, whether it matches theirs or not.
- Arrogant – They hide behind an air of confidence, but please don’t confuse arrogance with confidence. The difference is subtle, but there is a distinct difference between the two. Confident people will inspire, while arrogant people will intimidate and annoy. It’s important to surround yourself with people who tend to be more humble than people who think they are better than you.
- Victims – They constantly blame someone else for everything. Consequently, if it,s someone else’s fault for their current situation, they expect someone else to fix it. These can be some of the most toxic people to be around because they never have a positive thing to say. They can literally suck the joy out of your life. It’s important to surround yourself with people who accept responsibility and take action to make their life better.
- Liars – If you want to be happy, you have to surround yourself with happy people, people that you can trust and count on. You cannot trust someone who is not truthful. You never know if they’re lying or telling the truth or even if they’ll show up when they say they will. It’s important to surround yourself with people who are accountable and responsible the themselves.
- Gossipers – People who gossip don’t know how to separate fact from speculation and will often add their interpretation to further distort the truth. They disseminate wrong information which causes hurt feelings and enemies to be bred. It’s important that you surround yourself with people who are confident enough to not feel the need to spread information – whether true or not!
The people we encounter and that eventually become a part of our lives is one of the most fulfilling aspect of this journey we call life. It is said that people come into our lives for a season and a reason and this can give us a moment or a lifetime of happiness. We have to be careful of who we invite into our audience. James Michael Sama says, “The right people will motivate you to become the absolute best version of yourself, without changing who you really are…just by being around you.
The right people will be pursuing own dreams and therefore believe it is possible – so they will encourage you to follow your own; even if they don’t have to say anything to do it.
The right people will be standing next to you not only on the sunny days, but also on the rainy days. In fact, they’ll be the ones holding the umbrella over you.”
It’s not just about finding the right people to be around – its also about BEING the right person to be around. Water seeks its’ own level. So if the people in your circle tend to be messy, check and see if there is some emotional baggage that you may be carrying that’s adding “mess to your life.” Everyone that’s around you, you don’t need to be around. If you can’t change the people around you, change the people that you’re around.
People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you’ll know what to do with that person. All we are is the story of our time here and we have the leading role. When we leave, all that’s left is the legacy of our production. So, it’s important to create a beautiful one and only invite those people that love and appreciate you. Our job is to create a wonderful, endearing tale of our time here.